You finally get on a call with your parent, and they casually mention skipping lunch. Or a neighbour tells you they have been eating very little lately. It may sound minor, but for many caregiving children living away from home, this is one of the first quiet signs that something is changing.
As parents grow older, appetite often fades gradually and for many different reasons. It is rarely about fussiness or choice. More often, it is a mix of physical changes, emotional shifts, and daily challenges that slowly take the joy out of eating. The reassuring part is that even from a distance, there are thoughtful ways you can help.
Why does appetite naturally change with age
One of the most common reasons older adults eat less is a change in taste and smell. With age, these senses become less sharp. Food that once felt comforting or exciting may now seem bland or unappealing. This is why many older adults gravitate towards sweets or salty snacks, as these flavours are easier to recognise.
From afar, you can gently suggest small adjustments rather than big dietary changes. Natural flavour enhancers like ginger, lemon, garlic, or fresh herbs can make meals more enjoyable without adding excess salt or sugar. Sharing a simple recipe or asking the person who cooks for them to try small variations can make a meaningful difference.
Medication can also play a role. Many commonly prescribed medicines reduce appetite, cause nausea, or leave a metallic taste in the mouth. If you notice that eating has reduced after a new prescription, it is worth flagging this to their doctor. A dietitian can also recommend foods that are easier to digest and less likely to trigger discomfort.
Oral health is another often-overlooked factor. Tooth pain, gum sensitivity, or loose dentures can make chewing uncomfortable or even painful. As a result, parents may quietly avoid meals rather than complain. Encouraging regular dental check-ups and suggesting softer food options such as dals, curd-based meals, stews, or well-cooked vegetables can help restore comfort and confidence around eating.
When food is not the real issue
Sometimes, the problem is not the food itself, but the experience around it. Eating alone can be deeply disheartening, especially for parents who spent years sharing meals with family. Without conversation or company, meals can start to feel like a chore rather than a pleasure.
If you live far away, small gestures can still help. Scheduling a video call during one meal a day, even a few times a week, can recreate a sense of shared routine. Encouraging participation in local senior groups, temples, clubs, or community lunches can also reintroduce social connections around food.
Low mood and loneliness can further reduce appetite. Retirement, health changes, and reduced independence all affect how a parent feels about their day. Eating less is sometimes an expression of feeling low, unmotivated, or unseen.
When cooking itself becomes overwhelming
For many older adults, the effort of cooking becomes the biggest barrier. Grocery shopping, standing for long periods, chopping vegetables, or remembering steps may feel tiring or unsafe. Some parents also worry about gas stoves, sharp knives, or spills, which leads them to skip meals rather than risk an accident.
This is where having a reliable person nearby truly matters. A trusted presence who checks in, helps with groceries, ensures meals are prepared safely, and notices changes early can prevent small issues from becoming serious health concerns.
Turning concern into consistent support
The key is not to react with panic, but to build gentle systems of support. Start by observing patterns rather than isolated incidents. Are skipped meals occasional or frequent? Are clothes looser? Is energy lower during calls?
From there, coordinate support that respects your parents’ dignity. This may mean arranging regular medical reviews, simplifying meals, or ensuring someone physically checks in on them. Whether it is a thoughtful neighbour, a family friend, or a trained professional, what matters most is continuity and trust.
This is also where structured eldercare support can help families living away. With Samarth, families can ensure that ageing parents are not navigating these changes alone. Dedicated Care Managers can check in regularly, notice early signs like reduced appetite, coordinate doctor or dental visits, and support daily routines with warmth and respect. Families receive timely updates, while parents receive care that feels personal rather than intrusive.
If you are worried that your parent is eating less and you cannot be there every day, the most important step is to stay involved and act early. A simple conversation, a small adjustment, or the right local support can help restore not just nutrition, but the quiet joy of sitting down to a meal again. Reach out, ask for help when needed, and make sure your care travels the distance, even when you cannot.
